Part I
Father: Son I have found a suitable match for you
Son: Dad!! I am too young
Father: But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter
Son: In that case.. okay!
Father (to Bill Gates): I have a suitable match for your daughter
Bill Gates: There are hundreds of wedding proposals for my daughter. Why would I marry my daughter to a guy of your choice
Father: The guy is Vice President of Bank of America
Bill Gates: In that case.. okay!
Father (to Bank of America): I have a suitable candidate for the post of Vice President of your bank
BOA: We don't have the position open. Besides, the applications are pouring daily more than we can handle.
Father: But the gentleman is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
BOA: In that case.. okay!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part II
Prologue: There is this week-long event IMPRINT held in IBM, celebrating its success and performance of its employees since last such event (more so to push employees further and give them a reason to "Work Hard & Party Harder"). The theme/game were different for each day. One day 200 candles were distributed randomly on each floor (8 floors in all). We were required to beg, snatch, steal, do anything possible, but collect the maximum number of candles to win the event. There would be a single winner (among around 1000-1500 competitors). Prize was chocolates!
Sudhu: Sir can you please give me those candles. We are just about to win
"Sir": Why? Even we are going to win.. huh? Say, how many candles do you have?
Sudhu: 56
"Sir": *dumbstuck* Please take these 9 candles as well.
Sudhu (To Sudarshan & Archana): *whisper* Okay now we have 26 candles in all.
Sudhu: ____ can I please have that candle?
"____": No. I am participating too
(Ab shock lagne ki baari Sudhu ki thee)
Sudhu: But you cannot possibly win with a single candle. People already have 70 candles. Only if people like you help us, we have good chances of moving ahead of them.
"____": Ohh, doesn't matter, i am still participating.
(Phew, tough nut to crack)
Sudhu: Hey, did you get the candle today? Can you please give it to me?
____: Yes, please take this, if this is what makes you happy
Sudhu: ^*&^@%&^#*&^$#
|
|
|
|
As if it was not enough, we met even tougher nuts
Sudhu: Hi, did you by any chance get the candle distributed today morning?
____: Yes. But don't think I am going to give that to you.
Sudhu: Okay, doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know we have around 80 candles. Still we don't want to take any chance. I thought probably you could help us win.
____: ONLY 80?? huh? We are much ahead of you. We have 201
(WTF)
Sudhu: Ohh that's wonderful!! Let's join hands. We can share the chocolates later on. You can take the larger share.
____: I would rather not share the prize. I am anyway gonna win.
One hour negotiation resulted in their agreeing upon having us a look upon their collection. They had 3 candles in all! (which they DID NOT hand over to us)
Archana (to her ex-teammates): Hi, how are you doing?
Teammates: Hey, how come you are on this floor... wow!! How are you doing?
(I was busy stealing some of their candles).
Archana: Can you give us the candles please? We can share the prize
Teammates: Okay. We have enough candles to make you win single-handedly. But only if you promise half the chocolates.
Archana: Half!! But we have already made such promises with 10 others. All you will get is probably half the bar.
Teammates: Shoo.. we ain't giving any candles. We shall rather participate ourselves. And mind you return the ones you just picked from ____'s desk.
Desperate, we literally pleaded, pinged them, called them up, negotiated to the best of our extent, promised to buy them some chocolates, visited their cubicle n number of times. Much to Sudarshan's irritation we kept requesting them on and on. FINALLY, in return of a lot of favors, they agreed upon giving us their candles - ALL they had were 6 candles. (DAMN, please please gimme a hammer. i want to blow somebody's head).
P.S.: Did I mention, we didn't win. We were only second, more than 120 candles short of the person who managed to get hold of the chocolates :(
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
The spiritualist in me
To everything there is a season... that's just as true today as it was there a hundred years back. Each of us has experienced seasons in our lives. Times of happiness and times of sadness. Times of putting down roots and times of pulling them up. times of grieving and times of rejoicing. We know that there are times to be silent, and times to speak. Times to draw close and times to stay apart. Lord has made everything appropriate to its time.
these words help us understand that the ebbs and flows of life are natural, that we are not alone in the difficulties we encounter. But they also bring a challenge. Because they leave some of the choices about the seasons of our lives in own hands. Grief is a good exampls. While we don't choose our times to grieve, we do chose the duration of our mourning. Clinging too long to grief can blind us to other joys God sends our way. The same is true of hate. Clinging too long to this distructive emotion can harden our hearts. Likewise, clinging too long to baggage from our past can clutter our lives, leaving no room for anything new to enter.
While the passage provides the reassurance that we are not alone when we expeirence the diverse sesons of our lives, it also serves as a wake-up call. A reminder that sonetimes it's up to us to step from one season into the next. To go from weeping to laughing, from scattering to gathering, from losing to seeking. And as we move through these seasons, we have one advantage: an understanding of the purpose and plan for our lives, which the Lord provided during His time on Earth. We also have someone to turn to when we need guidance for our journey, when we need courage to chose a new season. Let us always remember the beautiful words from Matthew: 'Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you.' The lord waits for our call. Don't be afraid to ask Him for help as you journey through the seasons of your life.
these words help us understand that the ebbs and flows of life are natural, that we are not alone in the difficulties we encounter. But they also bring a challenge. Because they leave some of the choices about the seasons of our lives in own hands. Grief is a good exampls. While we don't choose our times to grieve, we do chose the duration of our mourning. Clinging too long to grief can blind us to other joys God sends our way. The same is true of hate. Clinging too long to this distructive emotion can harden our hearts. Likewise, clinging too long to baggage from our past can clutter our lives, leaving no room for anything new to enter.
While the passage provides the reassurance that we are not alone when we expeirence the diverse sesons of our lives, it also serves as a wake-up call. A reminder that sonetimes it's up to us to step from one season into the next. To go from weeping to laughing, from scattering to gathering, from losing to seeking. And as we move through these seasons, we have one advantage: an understanding of the purpose and plan for our lives, which the Lord provided during His time on Earth. We also have someone to turn to when we need guidance for our journey, when we need courage to chose a new season. Let us always remember the beautiful words from Matthew: 'Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened to you.' The lord waits for our call. Don't be afraid to ask Him for help as you journey through the seasons of your life.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
The feminist in me
(I hope to keep updating this portion regularly; however my sincere apologies to those whose articles I shall be copy-pasting)
When literary periods are defined on the basis of men's writing, women's writing must be forcibly assimilated into an irrelevant grid; a Renaissance that is not a renaissance for women, a Romantic period in which women played very little part, a modernism with which women conflict. Simultaneously, the history of women's writing has been suppressed, leaving large, mysterious gaps in accounts of the development of various genres. Feminist criticism is beginning to correct this situation. Margaret Anne Doody, for example, suggests that during "the period between the death of Richardson and the appearance of the novels of Scott and Austen", which has "been regarded as a dead period". Late-eighteenth-century women writers actually developed "the paradigm for women's fiction of the Nineteenth century - something hardly less than the paradigm of the Nineteenth-century novel itself". Feminist critics have also pointed out that the twentieth-century writer Virginia Wolf belonged to tradition other than modernism and that this tradition surfaces in her work precisely where criticism has hitherto found obscurities evasions, implausibilities and imperfections.
When literary periods are defined on the basis of men's writing, women's writing must be forcibly assimilated into an irrelevant grid; a Renaissance that is not a renaissance for women, a Romantic period in which women played very little part, a modernism with which women conflict. Simultaneously, the history of women's writing has been suppressed, leaving large, mysterious gaps in accounts of the development of various genres. Feminist criticism is beginning to correct this situation. Margaret Anne Doody, for example, suggests that during "the period between the death of Richardson and the appearance of the novels of Scott and Austen", which has "been regarded as a dead period". Late-eighteenth-century women writers actually developed "the paradigm for women's fiction of the Nineteenth century - something hardly less than the paradigm of the Nineteenth-century novel itself". Feminist critics have also pointed out that the twentieth-century writer Virginia Wolf belonged to tradition other than modernism and that this tradition surfaces in her work precisely where criticism has hitherto found obscurities evasions, implausibilities and imperfections.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Weddings are in the air
"You've got new mail"
I traced the "subject", hoping to find something like - AW: DEVCR0013115 - FUT in DEV; what I found instead was "Wedding invitation"!
"yaar mere sare doston ki shaadi ho rahi hai", I sighed.
"tere saare doston ki??", two voices echoed at my back; I looked back and found Sheetal and Sudarshan staring and making faces at me.
"Ohh I mean bahut saare doston ki". (Gee! I've got company) :D
I don't want to sound creepy despo.. in fact I am enjoying my "single" status to the max. What makes my heart bleed is the fact how people have confined their lives to their new partner/family/relatives so much so that I am somehow feeling ignored and left-out. So many of my good friends got married/engaged within a span of few months - Poonam, Manoj, Pankaj, Milton, Priyanka, Rani, Shiwani, Preeti.. ohh yeah, how can I forget Rahul and also my cousin-cum-friend (where I have left the ones who are not as close)
These days whenever I see a large intimate group standing at some corner-place, talking and giggling occasionally, I am bound to believe the wedding talks would have found a place somewhere in their gossip; partly due to the fact that it's wedding-season in India.
The other day I was telling Sony, "Hey I am going to my friend's wedding next weekend... sorry you will be all alone on weekend again."
"Dobara kisi friend ki shaadi? Yaar tere saare friends shaadi kar rahe hain, tu kab karegi?" and that left me wondering.. shaadi?? Me?? God.. it's been long since I gave it a serious thought. Openly, I laughed it off saying, "Ladka milne ki der hai".
(Lord Tennyson raised the issue in "In Memoriam", written in state of almost suicidal grief after the sudden death of his friend, Arthur Hallam)
I traced the "subject", hoping to find something like - AW: DEVCR0013115 - FUT in DEV; what I found instead was "Wedding invitation"!
"yaar mere sare doston ki shaadi ho rahi hai", I sighed.
"tere saare doston ki??", two voices echoed at my back; I looked back and found Sheetal and Sudarshan staring and making faces at me.
"Ohh I mean bahut saare doston ki". (Gee! I've got company) :D
I don't want to sound creepy despo.. in fact I am enjoying my "single" status to the max. What makes my heart bleed is the fact how people have confined their lives to their new partner/family/relatives so much so that I am somehow feeling ignored and left-out. So many of my good friends got married/engaged within a span of few months - Poonam, Manoj, Pankaj, Milton, Priyanka, Rani, Shiwani, Preeti.. ohh yeah, how can I forget Rahul and also my cousin-cum-friend (where I have left the ones who are not as close)
These days whenever I see a large intimate group standing at some corner-place, talking and giggling occasionally, I am bound to believe the wedding talks would have found a place somewhere in their gossip; partly due to the fact that it's wedding-season in India.
The other day I was telling Sony, "Hey I am going to my friend's wedding next weekend... sorry you will be all alone on weekend again."
"Dobara kisi friend ki shaadi? Yaar tere saare friends shaadi kar rahe hain, tu kab karegi?" and that left me wondering.. shaadi?? Me?? God.. it's been long since I gave it a serious thought. Openly, I laughed it off saying, "Ladka milne ki der hai".
I hold it true whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
(Lord Tennyson raised the issue in "In Memoriam", written in state of almost suicidal grief after the sudden death of his friend, Arthur Hallam)
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
RaNdOm ThOuGhTs!!!
~27th November, 2007~
Life never takes a full circle... in contrast to the popular assumption! Either something is added.. or something is deduced.
Even the curve is never smooth throughout the cycle. At times life takes (READ "snatches") something, and at some other times it showers upon you its blessings in different forms. There are times when you are deferred and/or strayed badly from the usual "curvical" path.
What lies in the crux is that: Take it head-on
Life never takes a full circle... in contrast to the popular assumption! Either something is added.. or something is deduced.
Even the curve is never smooth throughout the cycle. At times life takes (READ "snatches") something, and at some other times it showers upon you its blessings in different forms. There are times when you are deferred and/or strayed badly from the usual "curvical" path.
What lies in the crux is that: Take it head-on
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
This is height!!
For a moment, let us consider there is a limit to everything, living or non-living, material or abstract.. limit to beauty, limit to intelligence, heights of excellence, limit to speed.. to thoughts.. to nudity (pleaseeee!!).. to emphasis :O.. to jealousy, to partiality, to love/hatred.. to pitch, to worthyness, to prosperity, to light... each n everything that surrounds us..
My observation says that there is limit to maximum of negative stuffs, but less boundaries to positivity, as in there is limit to darkness, i.e., total black-out or jet-black color.. but no limit to light or whiteness... a limit to cold - absolute zero temprature.. but no limit to heat.. limit to hatred (in a sense).. but no limit to love (atleast as it may seem).. a limit to lifelessness (pre-birth stature or death), but not to the life itself; a boundary of performance (no performance at all).. but not to the excellence; heights of silence (no sound) but not to the sound.. Heights of poverty - penniless, but not of posessions
In a sense this is good.. hail God!! Hail Nature!!
Okay okay.. it's height of timepass!
My observation says that there is limit to maximum of negative stuffs, but less boundaries to positivity, as in there is limit to darkness, i.e., total black-out or jet-black color.. but no limit to light or whiteness... a limit to cold - absolute zero temprature.. but no limit to heat.. limit to hatred (in a sense).. but no limit to love (atleast as it may seem).. a limit to lifelessness (pre-birth stature or death), but not to the life itself; a boundary of performance (no performance at all).. but not to the excellence; heights of silence (no sound) but not to the sound.. Heights of poverty - penniless, but not of posessions
In a sense this is good.. hail God!! Hail Nature!!
Okay okay.. it's height of timepass!
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
The great ABAP HR Team!!
Manu Bhai: looks like he doesn't remember anything and is among the least responsible breed of human beings, but what holds true is that u can count upon him at any given day.. without giving a second thought
Remembers everything.. but at the wrong time more often than not -- his thought process starts after 6:00 PM.. *sigh*
The tendency and duration for his stare upon any girl is directly proportional upon some primary criterion (completely insignificant.. but who cares!)
One major trait he shares with most girls is that he can extend his phone calls to any possible duration.
Obsession: samaaj seva (to say the least)
Sudarshan: shares the first three characters of his name with me.. along with a couple of Manu Bhai's primary criterion, including complexion ;-)
Troubleshoots everybody's problems in no time. Keeps cribbing about things at random.
Prone to frequent mood swings. Loves fighting with whoever happens to sit besides him.. but luckily girls are spared at times :P
He has a unique tendency a.k.a sixth sense to forecast the arrival of any beautiful girl in the cafeteria, even with head turned around :-
Obsession:
1). On-site
2). Paisa
Rani D Gupta: she (along with Ruchi) is among the first ones to order anything on any team lunch ;-) (for all she cares :P)
But nonetheless, she doesn't mind things.
Obsession: Her cell phone (We had been obliged with a yummy treat.. my first ever with the team; thanks to the cell)
Nitu Kumari: Her database happens to be among the most updatd ones in the office.
Even those who are close enough to her have an image of her as to be the fastest in coding/solving problems and among the best sources to seek for help. This is the reason why her extension keeps ringing all the time, and a lot of ST windows opened on her monitor. (thankfully my misconception is long cleared now 8-))
Obsession:
1). Gachha :-D (For more details, kindly contact our TL)
2). Kasturba Policy ;-)
Priyanka R Yadav: She can keep quiet and keep working even if the hell breaks lose and the floor tears apart. God only knows how she keeps working amidst all the noise n chaos we keep creating all the time.
But she is nonetheless the most lovable and helpful team member :-)
She can serve as a "Milestone", for our cubical is actually identified by her seat mostly.. people have changed thr routes for washroom and coffee-room just to get a glance of her pretty face time-to-time; but what a pity, she sits in the farthest corner of the floor. Only some daring people can actually come straight to the cubical n to her seat to get a proper glance *wink wink*
Obsession: Talking/chatting within her "closed group"
You are near the best team in the world. The great HR Team!!
Remembers everything.. but at the wrong time more often than not -- his thought process starts after 6:00 PM.. *sigh*
The tendency and duration for his stare upon any girl is directly proportional upon some primary criterion (completely insignificant.. but who cares!)
One major trait he shares with most girls is that he can extend his phone calls to any possible duration.
Obsession: samaaj seva (to say the least)
Sudarshan: shares the first three characters of his name with me.. along with a couple of Manu Bhai's primary criterion, including complexion ;-)
Troubleshoots everybody's problems in no time. Keeps cribbing about things at random.
Prone to frequent mood swings. Loves fighting with whoever happens to sit besides him.. but luckily girls are spared at times :P
He has a unique tendency a.k.a sixth sense to forecast the arrival of any beautiful girl in the cafeteria, even with head turned around :-
Obsession:
1). On-site
2). Paisa
Rani D Gupta: she (along with Ruchi) is among the first ones to order anything on any team lunch ;-) (for all she cares :P)
But nonetheless, she doesn't mind things.
Obsession: Her cell phone (We had been obliged with a yummy treat.. my first ever with the team; thanks to the cell)
Nitu Kumari: Her database happens to be among the most updatd ones in the office.
Even those who are close enough to her have an image of her as to be the fastest in coding/solving problems and among the best sources to seek for help. This is the reason why her extension keeps ringing all the time, and a lot of ST windows opened on her monitor. (thankfully my misconception is long cleared now 8-))
Obsession:
1). Gachha :-D (For more details, kindly contact our TL)
2). Kasturba Policy ;-)
Priyanka R Yadav: She can keep quiet and keep working even if the hell breaks lose and the floor tears apart. God only knows how she keeps working amidst all the noise n chaos we keep creating all the time.
But she is nonetheless the most lovable and helpful team member :-)
She can serve as a "Milestone", for our cubical is actually identified by her seat mostly.. people have changed thr routes for washroom and coffee-room just to get a glance of her pretty face time-to-time; but what a pity, she sits in the farthest corner of the floor. Only some daring people can actually come straight to the cubical n to her seat to get a proper glance *wink wink*
Obsession: Talking/chatting within her "closed group"
You are near the best team in the world. The great HR Team!!
- Rishi S. Verma
14th June 2007
16:20
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)