Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Of Father, Wedding & Bank of Amerika. Of Sudhu, Imprint & IBM.

Part I

Father: Son I have found a suitable match for you
Son: Dad!! I am too young
Father: But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter
Son: In that case.. okay!

Father (to Bill Gates): I have a suitable match for your daughter
Bill Gates: There are hundreds of wedding proposals for my daughter. Why would I marry my daughter to a guy of your choice
Father: The guy is Vice President of Bank of America
Bill Gates: In that case.. okay!

Father (to Bank of America): I have a suitable candidate for the post of Vice President of your bank
BOA: We don't have the position open. Besides, the applications are pouring daily more than we can handle.
Father: But the gentleman is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
BOA: In that case.. okay!

Part II

Prologue: There is this week-long event IMPRINT held in IBM, celebrating its success and performance of its employees since last such event (more so to push employees further and give them a reason to "Work Hard & Party Harder"). The theme/game were different for each day. One day 200 candles were distributed randomly on each floor (8 floors in all). We were required to beg, snatch, steal, do anything possible, but collect the maximum number of candles to win the event. There would be a single winner (among around 1000-1500 competitors). Prize was chocolates!

Sudhu: Sir can you please give me those candles. We are just about to win
"Sir": Why? Even we are going to win.. huh? Say, how many candles do you have?
Sudhu: 56
"Sir": *dumbstuck* Please take these 9 candles as well.
Sudhu (To Sudarshan & Archana): *whisper* Okay now we have 26 candles in all.

Sudhu: ____ can I please have that candle?
"____": No. I am participating too
(Ab shock lagne ki baari Sudhu ki thee)
Sudhu: But you cannot possibly win with a single candle. People already have 70 candles. Only if people like you help us, we have good chances of moving ahead of them.
"____": Ohh, doesn't matter, i am still participating.
(Phew, tough nut to crack)

Sudhu: Hey, did you get the candle today? Can you please give it to me?
____: Yes, please take this, if this is what makes you happy
Sudhu: ^*&^@%&^#*&^$#


As if it was not enough, we met even tougher nuts
Sudhu: Hi, did you by any chance get the candle distributed today morning?
____: Yes. But don't think I am going to give that to you.
Sudhu: Okay, doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know we have around 80 candles. Still we don't want to take any chance. I thought probably you could help us win.
____: ONLY 80?? huh? We are much ahead of you. We have 201
Sudhu: Ohh that's wonderful!! Let's join hands. We can share the chocolates later on. You can take the larger share.
____: I would rather not share the prize. I am anyway gonna win.
One hour negotiation resulted in their agreeing upon having us a look upon their collection. They had 3 candles in all! (which they DID NOT hand over to us)

Archana (to her ex-teammates): Hi, how are you doing?
Teammates: Hey, how come you are on this floor... wow!! How are you doing?
(I was busy stealing some of their candles).
Archana: Can you give us the candles please? We can share the prize
Teammates: Okay. We have enough candles to make you win single-handedly. But only if you promise half the chocolates.
Archana: Half!! But we have already made such promises with 10 others. All you will get is probably half the bar.
Teammates: Shoo.. we ain't giving any candles. We shall rather participate ourselves. And mind you return the ones you just picked from ____'s desk.
Desperate, we literally pleaded, pinged them, called them up, negotiated to the best of our extent, promised to buy them some chocolates, visited their cubicle n number of times. Much to Sudarshan's irritation we kept requesting them on and on. FINALLY, in return of a lot of favors, they agreed upon giving us their candles - ALL they had were 6 candles. (DAMN, please please gimme a hammer. i want to blow somebody's head).

P.S.: Did I mention, we didn't win. We were only second, more than 120 candles short of the person who managed to get hold of the chocolates :(


Kanupriya said...

haha! =)
but this looks like a good way to improve communication :)

Voice said...

guess many people read forwarded mails :)

second k liye koi chocolate nhi?

Jeremiah Duomai said...

Very clever way to get spouse for children... hmmm :-)